Friendships are one of the most important relationships a person can ever have in their life. That being said, how much trust should you place in them? If you were in a position of power, should you gift them with power of their own? If so, then how much? These are the questions the second law of power arises about trusting friends and enemies.
According to Robert Greene’s second law of power, “Never put too much trust in friends, learn how to use enemies”, you should do quite the opposite of what one might expect. Through the examples of Michael III of the Byzantine empire and General Chao K’uang-yin (aka General Sung), he explains how this law of power lead to their death and survival, respectively.
Michael III[1]
Michael III (aka Michael the Amorian or The Drunkard) became the emperor of the Byzantine empire upon the death of his father, Thephilus. Due to Michael being around 14 years old when he ascended to power, a council of regency was commissioned with his mother, Theodora, and her chief minister, Theoctistus, as leading figures. After about 14 years of rule in this manner, Michael III conspired with his uncle, Bardas, to murder Theoctistus so that Michael controlled the government as well as the throne. When Theodora attempted to retake the control of the government, she and her daughters were forced into a nunnery.
During his rule, Michael showered his friend Basilius with gifts and power. Basilius was sent to one of the finest schools in the empire and was quickly allowed to advise Michael on the matters of the state. There is just one problem with this, Basilius was obsessed with making money. Michael agreed to double his salary then soon thereafter triple it. However, it still wasn’t enough for Basilius.
When tables have turned
Not satisfied with his state of power and wealth, Basilius convinced Michael that he must have his uncle, Bardas (sound familiar), murdered. Bardas was the one who was responsible for Michael’s ascension to the throne as well as being the commander of the army. With the murder of Bardas, Basilius naturally took his place as the commander of the army. Now Basilius had influence over the Byzantine army and massive amounts of wealth.
Why is this important? Well, at some point Michael started to run out of money. This caused him to ask Basilius to pay back some of the money that Michael had loaned to him throughout the years, and, to Michael’s surprise, Basilius refused to pay it back. Then, one night in a drunken stupor, Michael finds himself surrounded by members of his army, who proceeded to stab Michael to death , with his “friend” Basilius watching. Essentially, Basilius had attained more power, wealth, and allies in the army than the emperor himself, and promptly watched as his allies murdered his former friends to death.
Trust But Verify
How could this have happened? Michael gave his friend power and wealth, and despite the fact that Michael was the reason for Basilius to acquire the wealth and power to begin with, Basilius murdered him to take his place. By simply giving his friend power, Michael had turned him into a monster; one that was in constant search of more wealth and more power.
This story is an example of what can happen when a person just gives their friend everything; the friend begins to forget the favors that were done for them, and they start to believe that they earned everything through their own labor. Therefore, in the eyes of Basilius, he didn’t have to repay the loan to Michael because he didn’t owe him anything. He was able to watch his allies stab his former friend to death because he truly believed that he made those allies on his own, without the help of Michael. This leads to the idea that a no one believes a friend will betray them, until they do.
By ignoring the signs of Basilius’s changing character, Michael left himself open to betrayal. This gives even more credence to the saying “Trust but Verify”. Obviously, you should trust your friends, if you don’t, they probably aren’t your friends in the first place. However, despite your trust, verify that they are trustworthy. This is even more important when you are both in a position of power. When they tell you something important, verify that it is true.
General Chao K’uang-yin[2]
After the Tang dynasty, China plunged into five decades of turmoil and five different dynasties competed for power. As one would assume power, the new emperor’s generals would plot to assassinate him and take his place; a cycle that repeats throughout those decades. Until foreign armies invaded China, and General Chao K’uang-yin (aka Song Taizu and Zhou Kuangyin, I call him General Song from now on) lead the Chinese to battle against these foreign invaders.
According to the story, the troops mutinied after one day of marching, and demanded that General Song become emperor. Being fully aware of what has happened to the emperors of China during the past fifty years, Song agreed as long as no harm would come to his later royal family members. Thus began the Song dynasty of China.
Alternate approach
To prevent his murder and usurpation, Song took a different approach than his predecessors. The previous emperors would murder all of their major generals in order to prevent them from assassinating the emperor, and by doing so, they just forced animosity on the allies of the general that he murdered, and his allies would assassinate him. Song, however, took a different approach. Instead of killing off his major generals, he invited them to a banquet, and after a lot of wine, offered all of them an early retirement, with fine estates and any amenities that they wished for. In return, they would relinquish all of their power and authority. They soon accepted the offer.
At this time, China was still not unified. When King Liu, the leader of a rebellious faction, surrendered to Song, Song gave him a ranked position in the imperial court. Essentially, he gave one of his enemies a position of power within his own court. As the story goes, they decided to celebrate the event with a glass of wine. However, King Liu believed the glass had been poisoned, so he did not drink. In response, Song took the glass of wine and drank it himself, proving that it was not poisoned and won King Liu’s trust.
Assassins
For yet another example of Song following this law of power, instead of killing a man named Ch’ien Shu who planned to assassinate Song, Song invited him to the palace and gave him a gift. That gift was an envelope filled with papers that he was to open when he was halfway on his journey home. When Shu opened it, he found all of the documents that documented his conspiracy to assassinate the emperor. By sparing Shu, Song had converted him into another friend.
Make you friends docile and your enemies powerful
There are a few lessons in the story of Emperor Song. By placing all his major generals into a blissful retirement rather than murdering them, Song’s actions can be compared to a Chinese proverb that likes a friend to the jaws of a very dangerous animal because if you are not careful with them, you will find them eating you. By bribing his former generals with such a blissful retirement with estates and all, Song had essentially emasculated them and made them docile. Whereas if he had killed them, at some point vengeance would be sought and his assassination would have continued that deadly cycle known to the emperors of the time.
With the story of King Liu, the power in doing favors for your enemies is evident. To quote Robert Greene directly, “while a friend expects more and more favors, and seethes his jealousy, these former enemies expected nothing and got everything.”[3] Sometimes friends will actually expect favors from you, and, when you grant one to them, they will not appreciate it as someone who expects nothing from you would. In other words, a friend would probably not be affected much by a favor, however, an enemy, someone who expects absolutely nothing from you in the first place, would be affected immensely. This lesson derives the concept that sparing someone’s life will make them grateful, as we saw with the story of Ch’ien Shu.
Friends still aren’t useless
Now, all of this being said, friends still have their purpose in the realm of power. There is something that must be done to maintain power, and some of these things it would be best for you not to do yourself, the dirty work. This is what friends are best for according to this law. Due to their affection towards you, your friends would have a higher probability of doing something that is morally questionable than someone you are not as close to.
Essentially, you are using them as a scapegoat. Be aware, that once you have done this, you have lost that friend forever. That being said, make sure the scapegoat is close so that people believe that they are a close friend, but not so close as to put you at a disadvantage by their loss. They need to seem like a close friend because in general, the public will find it harder to believe that you would purposefully sacrifice a friend.
The reason it is often best not to work with friends is that it can be easier to confuse boundaries. When working with sensitive information or the ability to control power, some boundaries need to be very clear, and some distance may be necessary. This can be difficult when you are working with a friend. However, if the boundaries are very clear and distinguishable, then working with a friend can lead towards a very advantageous partnership. Nevertheless, you must stay vigilant and watch for any emotional changes that could happen within your friend and your relationship with them.
The Key Takeaways
So, what exactly does this law mean?
Often times, we do not know our friends as well as we think. Unless you have been close friends with someone for decades, you most likely do not truly understand how they think and how to predict their behavior. This is a two-way street. You most likely do the same thing when you are with a friend that is relatively new.
What do we do with new friends? A lot of the times we hide characteristics of ours that are generally looked down upon. We do this in order to keep our friends. At least for me, when it normally takes a year of frequent time spent together for their true colors to become obvious. Sometimes you can tell immediately, other times it takes a while to find out someone is a covert narcissist or whatever their trait is that you do not mess with.
Also keep in mind that people will sometimes agree with a person for the sole reason of avoiding an argument, and they will do this especially with friends. This, along with the hiding of undesirable qualities, will gradually rear its head when you hire a friend. Sometimes, the friend cannot help but to think they were hired for the simple reason that they are a friend, and not because they deserve the position.
Hire for skill and competence
When someone feels undeserving in such a way, it can lead to some pretty ugly consequences and sometimes even the loss of the friendship. This is why you must hire people based off of their skills and competence over any form of relationship or feelings. Most people cannot mix work and friend relationships seamlessly so that there are no unintended consequences.
“The keys to power, then, is the ability to judge who is best able to further your interests in all situations. Keep friends for friendship but work with the skilled and competent.”[4]
To hire an enemy, however, is different. When you hire an enemy, you give them something when they expected nothing from you. This can induce feelings within them that they have something to prove to you. To prove that they deserve the position you bestowed upon them. This can be very advantageous for you because when someone feels as if they have something to prove, they will do almost anything to prove it.
Also, the foundation of your relationship with an enemy is different than that of a friend. The foundation of a friendship is based more off of feelings of affection for one another, but a work relationship with an enemy is more based off of mutual self-interest, else you wouldn’t be working together.
Beyond that, without enemies or competition, we grow lazy, or at least lazier than we would be with them. Competition can work wonders for a person’s work ethic.
Conclusions and thoughts
Keep in mind that the arguments presented above are meant to be rather objective. The reason it is important to read and study history and philosophy is to understand something from a different perspective. The more perspectives of a topic a person understands, the more they will understand the topic. That being said, at least from my personal experiences, the argument Robert Greene presents has a lot of merit.
Keep in mind, power does not imply some form of dominating position of character. To be powerful is to be able to notice and understand circumstances in an amoral manner. As Greene says, power is a game and “in games you do not judge your opposition by their intentions, but by the effect of their actions.”[5]
To your wealth and future,
James Forsythe
For more Personal Development/Philosophy
https://jamesdforsythe.com/category/personaldevelopment/
[1] https://www.britannica.com/biography/Michael-III-Byzantine-emperor
[2] http://epicworldhistory.blogspot.com/2012/07/zhao-kuangyin-chao-kuang-yin.html
[3] The 48 Laws of Power, Robert Greene (Pg. 12)
[4] The 48 Laws of Power, Robert Greene (Pg. 13)
[5] The 48 Laws of Power, Robert Greene (Pg. xxi)
